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20071217

The ability to analyze and predict.

Sometimes having an ability to do so may not be a good thing. Well.... ignorance can really be a blessing in disguise... ... You get to enjoy the moment before reality sets in, you are not constantly bogged down by what has not happened though it will STILL happen. You are bloody worrying about things that will happen next, and that constant voice at the back of the head that says, "shit it really is turning out the way i expected"... ... Anything productive? No. The burdens just keeps adding on when reality continues to unfold just the way you have guessed it to be.

Sometimes it's really better to just freaking heck it and throw aside things that are beyond our bloody control instead of trying to be some kind of a useless psychic. It really screws up your bloody life and takes away everything that is currently beautiful in life.

Its just like how a doomsayer would always predict that the world is coming to an end, mankind will perish at the rate we are going blah blah blah... and when shit like 911 really occurs do you think he would rejoice over the fact that reality has really begin to unfold in the way that he have expected. NO man. Hell no. He probably didn't want it to happen this way too, but, its way beyond his control. So is it really worth preparing for it at all? I think not, especially when it is totally out of your region of control. Well the thing is that such sadness and downheartedness really builds up tremendously over time, and knowing beforehand that shit is going to happen just places you into that bloody negative state earlier and for a longer period of time as well. What happens in the end? you are probably physically calmer than everyone else who have not expected it, but thats because you are really damaged emotionally. You have became too numb to react to it when it comes after long periods of being in such low spirits.

It doesn't pay to try to be mentally prepared for everything because the preparation phase itself is already one freaking big torture at times, especially when minds and thoughts are by nature so volatile, unpredictable and uncontrollable. So why torture yourself when its not here yet? Shouldn't you be enjoying the moment, and appreciate what little that is left?

Its true that as you struggle in life, learn from the experience of others as well as your own, or constantly reflect on things are happening around, you will gradually gain the the ability to appreciate the finer things in life, know and understanding how one is actually feeling or thinking, or know which is the most possible and impossible scenario in reality.

Sounds like a really useful ability eh, But is this all really good........ perhaps not...

It is somewhat disheartening to know too much. Being too aware of the flaws in life will only make living lose its idealistic magic.

Ignorance is bliss,

really... trust me on that

posted @ 1:35 AM
4 comments

20071206

Sorry for abandoning my blog for a hell long period of time, and occasionally posting some crap posts here that is utterly meaningless and not a joy to read at all. Well, those were the shitty moments of my life, and the blog was actually turned into a dumping ground especially in times of frustrations.

Billions of things to be said since the last ridiculous post. Well, i shall just stick to the most recent one i guess, yep... prom , the final event of my 2 yrs in HCI, the 2 short but unforgettable years....

Well it was a pretty enjoyable experience cause it was something new too and something which i only experienced once in my life so far... ... Oh and i even went up to perform during prom with my classmates since it was our one final chance. pretty enjoyable experience! though prom ain't really a suitable event for such a performance actually.

Haha the team :D
i think its pretty cool that the guys have blazers of all diff. colours haha

In action!

For me, the feeling at prom was a bittersweet one. Deep down in their hearts, there was so much more that everyone wanted to say, to share and to express to one another during the night. But all of these were totally masked by the stunning dresses, make up and ambience. Maybe thats precisely the reason why prom has to be the last event. It is natural for one to be overwhelmmed with so much emotions and feelings for a last event after 2 yrs of sweat and tears, so much so that the air of melancholy will probably be too strong for the event to actually end on a happy note. Yep, thank goodness for prom it has diverted our attention from the cold hard truth that we are finally at the crossroads, but well perhaps..... the diversion was a little too much i think.

It is natural for one (esp. girls) to photo whore and capture as many moments of your rare and glamorious front, after looking like frankenstein for months during the A lvl period. After all! It took you lots of hardwork to fish out one bloody dress out of the hundreds you have came across! and lots of time was also spent on useless tanning and exercising sessions (which have no results at all, LOL) during the post A's period right?!

Face it. If you have taken class photos, the first person you will look out for is probably yourself, out of the 20 odd ppl.

Prom is definitely one event that everyone should experience though, but I really feel that it seriously lacks meaning to follow the norm and put it as the last event. Most of us have the tendency to get too obsessed with our own looks cause everyone else is too, and that seriously just spoils the meaning. You probably still have abt 6 to 7 decades left for self-obssession, and probably only a couple of hours left to catch up with friends who you may not ever meet for a lifetime. (extreme, but thats life) Having said all these, of course i was still really normal and cheerful or the night itself, I wasn't sitting on my chair, fasting, emoing and sobbing away, LOL.

Only all of us started to sing the HC songs, then i began to realize what was really going on... ... an unexplainable surge of nostalgia. I really didn't want to cross the finishing line, even though we had just ran the toughiest race of our life thus far. Yep, I am serious. I wouldn't mind going through the entire 2 years again, although it was really hell at times. After all, you will never grow if you do not struggle with life, and you will never feel joy if you have never experienced sadness before. The entire HC experience is irreplaceable, never have i entered a school that have given me so much warmth and joy. Also, i think the class matters a hell lot too, thank God that i got posted to a such a united class (: with such wonderful people that i wouldn't mind keeping contact for a lifetime.

The 34th Council used a fantastic analogy (but with lousy elaboration) about us being musical instruments, and that although the song has stopped playing, the strings will still remain forever. I was a little upset that they didn't further elaborated cause it set me thinking so much when i heard that.

Though our individual tunes may inevitably clash at times, compromise, love and patience saw us through. Now that we have orchestrated and played our final impeccable piece, its time to move on. We will soon be playing to different tunes in different orchestras. But just remember the tune that was once ever so familiar and close to our hearts... ...

posted @ 10:35 PM
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